s e c r e t a m a z o n

grendel’s cheek is at the airport

Some things I thought about on the tiny poetry tour which I failed to update on (see readings):

Kristen Stone is adorable. It’s too bad that staring at people can make them feel creeped out. Nobody likes to be reduced to an object. The desiring gaze is terrible because suddenly… suddenly you are accountable for your body.

But her thoughts are also adorable. I respect the adorable. It’s adorable to watch KS and J together, and watch them touch and smile at each other.

K uses the word abject so much it becomes another object. The closeness of object to abject is also very pleasurable. Friction between words and meaning and the question of meaning, the answer being another question, because separating levels of sense? Data begets more data. We didn’t wash our hair for days—I gave in to shampoo after I got flakes in my scalp but KS remained ever greasy. Sad feelings are not bad feelings. Kate Z, Kristen and I agree.  KS has a tattoo of asymptotes on her arm, and asymptotes are one of my favorite analogies. Feelings, poetry, meaning, asymptotes. BAM. SAT vocab.

It’s true, how strange it is that people worry about being happy. It’s a Disney thing. I only like the broken parts of Disney, the broken parts of happiness, because the broken stuff is the part where it becomes possible to love other things.

Sianne Ngai said that brokenness contributes to cuteness because it makes them helpless. Beauty is often helpless of itself. I read Hunger Games in Gainesville and felt weird about the helplessness of Katniss’s uncontrollable beauty. The kind that cannot be achieved, because posturing by default makes it impossible.  Broken people scabbing together always make me cry. “Thank you for your children” boohoo boohooooo! But it’s true. The threshold of cuteness vs. abjectivity/abjectness is ambiguous.

Other things, it was nice to meet/see everyadorableone else I met while running around the south! Hi Ariel (yay!) and Rose and Kale and Brooks and Jesse and Nic and Genet and Maggie and Ben and Kim Vodka (har) and my libra twins and KS’s fam and Toad and Bruce (kittens!) etc etc etc, thank you for your children and the puppies.

[this was written many hours ago in the airport.]




do u really believe in the void? 

does sincerity make bodies into boids? 
does poop make me into android?
lex luther i think the mystery
is being flushed. 
i also think that i am a god without powers
good thing
so i don’t destroy the real toys of others
because i am not nicole kidman
i am a city without roads
a boy without a toad
when i cannot feel my pain
i grow uneasy and when i look at the boids around me
i am a fallen angel in a kimono and the kimono is open
because the pen is mightier than the sword
and i am a splayed kimono under both of those things
despite my power and my status as a god

Pyura chilensis, a sea creature that lives on the rocky coast of Chile and Peru.



kristen-stone: so this came today.  yay, i’m reading w/ this girl in florida!

Peggy Piggy

I recently changed all the “pig”s in my writing in Pork Trial into “peg”s. Now it is Peggy O.

DESIGN http://www.designboom.com/contemporary/peg.html


Peg = Pig in certain tongues
Other dialects

Meaning: Its source is margaron, a Greek name meaning “Pearl.”
Origin: “margaron.”
Nickname For: Margaret and Peggy
Popularity: The name Peg ranked 3778th in popularity for females of all ages in a sample of the 1990 US Census.
Though this name appears on the 1990 U.S. Census lists, it is used by only a small percentage of the general population.
Narrative: This name came into use among English speakers by way of Latin (as Margarita) and Old French (as Marguerite). It has been closely identified with Scotland, to the point that one commentator has pronounced it ”the national Scottish female name.”
However, in the late 20th century it has been most prominently borne by Englishwoman Margaret Thatcher, the United Kingdom’s first female Prime Minister.

quote: “I drooled more as “Ceboom” jeans and boots sporting mayor Mike Rama has concluded on his speech in English (Cebuanos are not good in Tagalog, they are a disaster. They pronounced “pig” as “peg” “shit” as “shet”) to us mostly Filipino-speaking delegates of the National Hog Summit at the convention hall of the swanky Water Front Hotel & Casino”


Violin Peg

Peg Puzzle


Reading an interview with Kristeva by Sylvere Lotringer, I come across a statement about mixture. She talks about her theory of the abject, how religions produce and take aim at the abject. Art is deeply related to religion and has a history of being responsible for “purification,” so in that way it is structured around catharsis– Aristotle’s ladders. Pigs, like art, have a fraught rhetorical history. The art I am drawn to are not pure, this art does not achieve catharsis. It simply runs and runs. Someone is overwhelmed by connections. Too many holes causes deflation and collapse, but these are not closures, a collapse is another hole. It probably has to do with the aperture of the internet, which has made violence and identity ambient.

I am myself uncomfortable with the use of the word “peg” in this book because it is neither the peg or the pig, it refers to both and neither. I like it that way, but my training as a purifier doesn’t let me relax. I like this tension. It sits between inert and organic, death and life, plant and animal, error and movement. It reads like a wrong word because it is mispelled. A vowel has been exchanged. It is a kind of clot that opens. The pig is especially devious as a non-kosher animal, because it has split hooves, but is not ruminant, (both are requirements to be kosher). It is the only non-kosher animal with split-hooves. All other split hooved animal are edible.

Non-kosher animals are impure in that they do not respect separation between states/identities: Kristeva says in the interview:

For example, there are animals that have elements, paws or other attributes, that are thought to be attributes of beings who inhabit the earth. These are animals that inhabit the water, but have the attributes of animals that live on land. In other words, they find themselves straddling land and sea. And starting from this crossroads situation, this non-respect of the land-sea separations, let’s say, [separations] of the attributes that belong to two categories, these animals would be considered impure. So one sees that the idea of defilement [taint] in fact concerns a non-respect of structure. http://semiotexte.com/?p=123

Pigs are also impure for being omnivores and scavengers.

See a peg, and it looks like something cloven, almost a hoof. It attaches by pinching, and is itself only because it is pinched together itself by a wire or string, or because it is slit. It is used for drying laundry, a traditionally womanly activity and very much a lower-class staple. In the movie industry, it is called a bullet or ammo, being worn around a lighting agent’s waist, it is also used to prevent celebrities’ straws from falling into their drinks. I use a bullet to keep my cheese bags closed, cereal fresh.

Links for context:

Some of my pig poems are in Ugly Fish and this blog (see poems) but all the pigs are pegs now in my working version. pig poem: http://vbw14.blogspot.com/

Fourth (pigfish) is copyright Mutable Realms. modeled in 3ds max textured in Deep Paint 3d

Pig fish piggy banks can be found in Asia. I think the pig and the fish are auspicious there. So that’s another layer of stuff to my peg.

februaryy: Issue 8 of Red Lightbulbs features so so many good things.  I’m not even going to try to list them. i’m in here! thanks to carrie for introducing me to this rag (Source: http://redlightbulbs.net)

ourflowishard: Minneapolis, come.  http://www.facebook.com/events/399771550061467/ Thursday, June 21, 2012 8:00pm 3220 S. Garfield Ave S. #105 OUR FLOW IS HARD is a collective of girlpoets bent on flooding the place, a small dam of sticks that like to make and hear sounds. would you like to come make and hear sounds too? we have picked out some […]